$5… I give the homeless silent blessings not money, usually. But today as I ran around doing errands I made it a point to stay centered in my heart not my head. Walking passed a homeless person, as usually happens in LA, I began my silent blessing and rushing passed him but something struck me – a deep level of humility and fear in him.
I walked out of the post office, again he asked. Again I felt that pang that I never feel in such moments. It hardly ever feels right to step in. I always try to connect to see if I should be the one to help or not. In fact there is one homeless man I see daily and I want to give to him but I keep getting the feeling that it is not right for me to give in this situation. Were I psychic instead of empathic I might know the details but often only ‘knowing’ what is right to do or not do in the moment is more important, you don’t get in the way and try to make things happen the way you think they should happen if you know the outcome… and outcomes change 
I walk passed him. My heart slams into my chest. I just know I need to go back and give him $5, as if someone unseen were shouting at me. I just ‘know’ he won’t make it through the day, or have enough time to get the help he needs so he can do whatever it is he has to do here on this planet. Just because he lives on the street does not mean he is not ‘somebody’. Who knows? He may wind up helping thousands of people through his personal story some day.
I return and hand him $5, he gives a labored smile, happy he can get a decent meal. A wave of chills courses through my body. I’m grateful for what just transpired. I was useful, I paid attention, I listened to my ‘knowing’. Most of all, I was reminded how silly and small our everyday problems really are.
In what way are you not listening?
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